We continue with Chapter four of my blog-to-book project: Life After High School: Secrets To A Successful Life By Those Who Have Had Twenty Years To Think About It (or) What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. Today I am including the first of three interviews of this chapter, with Chris Ellis. If you missed the last post, click here, otherwise, you can start at the beginning here.

Chris Ellis

Anacortes, WA

My Life In High School

Who were you in High School and how did you feel about it?

I was the guy who knew the cool kids but didn’t fit in that clique but got along with pretty much everyone. My friends played D&D on the weekends and went to the movies. I did enough work in school to get a B average but enjoyed projects like leadership and I thought the REACH program was the right kind of progressive thinking to get students like me involved in learning something more than the draconian syllabus could provide.

Unfortunately, our class saw too many students without maturity take advantage of those liberties we had and the REACH class ultimately fail. Still, a lot of us had a lot of fun and made impacts in our community you still see if you look for it. I was particularly impressed that our class had the talent to rewrite our constitution. Good job, man.

What did you think your life would become when you graduated?

Do to my parental situation, those years were pretty dim for me. I had no direction leaving high school and no time to consider it before I wasted a little more than a year in Skagit VC. I had fun with my friends but my ship had no compass, no charts, for years to come.

My Life After High School

What happened in your life to you, for you, and by you in the last twenty years (how have you used your time and who have you become)?

Man, I worked at MCDONALDS for a year out of high school. Let’s kick it off with that. From there I got a job with Cap Sante Marine which didn’t pay much better but I was finally getting my hands dirty and learning some trade. I got my own apartment, I’ve always had my own place and there was never a lack of friends with absolutely no living skills to help pay rent.

I’m not good with the chronological facts but a few years at Cap Sante and I got laid off. Moved on to Northern Marine, another shipyard. Stagnated there for about a year. Another layoff. Then onto San Juan Composites where I got a job in paint. They make terrific boats and are a great company. I did a lot of sanding but learned stuff. From there my mom offered to pay for schooling in networking. My parents were electrical contractors so that was my in to become an Electrician. I did that. I’m still an electrician. Worked in houses until I got my Journeyman and I’ve spent many years until now working at Dakota Creek on ships doing all sorts of wiring.

Let’s jump back a bit. About the time I left boats to wire houses. About 2000 I think. So at that time my friends and I did about the same as we did in high school. D&D on the weekends, trips to the mall and movies. All that kinda stuff. Basically, the leader of our group made a few life changes. He was a few years senior to me and had been living with his mom. Well, his dad had some single wide out near Alger and when my buddy moved out there things just seemed to collapse.

Lots of alcohol. LOTS. Not just parties. Not just alcohol. It was Lord of the Flies out there. He was smoking weed, which he’d swear he’d never do (something fairly foreign to me at the time) and getting absolutely nothing done with his life. Some of the group rocked out with him, the rest of us stuck together but ultimately we fell apart and went our separate ways. It was awkward. It was all I knew since middle school.

I was independent so I had to figure something out. I had lots of friends. I fell in with an old buddy of mine and followed him down to the Ebb Tide to hang with his crew and instantly had a new crew to hang with. These guys were great, weekends drinking MGD and watching WWE wrestling. Everyone was cool and I was fine again. So that was my life, work and weekends. We worked on our cars in the garage all weekend and had a good time.

Eventually, things would collapse, some of my friends had to make poor relationship decisions that would divide us. I was on my own again.

I made new friends out of my old friends, the ones that mattered. I bought a house and my new friends would become my roommates and we existed in our own world. That was about 12 years ago.

Unfortunately, for the last five or six years, alcohol as a pastime became more and more dominant. Like some low-budget small town homage to Hunter Thompson, I let bottles take the wheel. I spent too much time there, I have amazing stories and experiences but I regret how much time I invested in that place.

About a year ago today, in my delirium, I met a girl with a bigger drinking problem than I had. All sorts of crazy drama and illness. We had a serious connection but neither of us was functional in life. Somehow I convinced her we couldn’t be together with her own issues and she got treatment. We reconnected on new year’s eve. It was all I needed.

I still have beers now and then but I don’t drink like that anymore. She’s been clean ever since. We function better than anyone I know. I’ve remodeled my house with her, it’s our home. I’ve never been happier and I’ll never jeopardize it. Every day Facebook reminds me how stupid I was. It’s a good tool. Five years of drunken rants are enough to convince any sensible fellow that was a bad way. I’m happy. Couldn’t say that for a long time. I was right Jesse, this is quite cathartic.

My Life Lessons

What were the major life lessons and wisdom that you gained during your journey over the last 20 years?

You gotta do things right the first time, or you will revisit your work, and you’ll have to fix it. That’s just karma and luck.

You will only appreciate things you work for. Work can mean any labor; physical, emotional or just torture.

Real friends are the only currency we should worry about in life. It’s the only thing you’ll worry about later if you’re where you should be.

Learning things the hard way is the best way if you can afford the time.

Be humble. You only learn when you’re humble.

You need all of your emotions. That’s why they are there.

Guidelines are better than rules.

Listen to your bartender. They’re always soberer than you are.

When you’re in a rut, you should travel. I’ve been half way around the world both ways and I’ve seen a lot of life and it keeps me in the right perspective most of the time.

You never know better.

Letter To My High School Self

If you could write your 18-year-old self (or however old you were when you graduated) a letter, and send it back in time, what would you say? What lessons, wisdom, encouragement, or warnings would you give yourself?

This is redundant, I’d read back everything I just explained. I think that’s enough. I’ve done life this way and I don’t regret it. Everyone wants to go back and do it again but I know I’ve only gotten where I am doing what I’ve done and that can’t change. I don’t want to be anybody else. I’ve got a lot more work to do but I have my charts and I have my compass. I feel good about it.

I sincerely hope I’ve entertained you, my friend. You’ve always been someone I’ve respected. Ever since 1996 which is a very long time. Thank you for taking the time to listen. I hope I didn’t drone on too long but no one ever asks you how you are and really means it.

…And thank you, Chris, for taking the time to share with such candor. Next time, I interview Tia Austin.

Are you from Generation X? I want to hear what you think! Please comment below and participate in the conversation about What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. What do you wish someone told you when you were eighteen?