From The Desk Of Jesse Stoddard
Snohomish, WA

Dear Random Website Visitor, Robot, or Beloved Telemarketer,

Thank you for taking a moment to visit my website. In today’s busy world, I know it is usually easier just to Facebook Stalk someone. I can relate since most of us are addicted to scrolling a timeline like it was a casino slot machine (we love that random reinforcement-like gamblin’ feelin’, am I right?!) I feel the same way when I am trying to spy—ahem—I mean, learn more about someone.

However, what I found was that a website does contain more useful and detailed information that can give you a better overall understanding of who the person is (or at least who they want you to think they are— Hey, wait a minute…)

If you would like to call me and try to sell me something, then you can easily find my contact information below. I welcome sales professionals… But I have to warn you; although I look like your typical easy mark, I tend to be more interested in your process and scripting than I am in your product or service and it does tend to become a big game that is likely to frustrate you.

Better yet, if you have robotic or pre-recorded messages connected to an auto-dialer that can repeatedly call my landline for weeks on end until I finally relent and pick up the phone screaming, you already know where to find my phone number, since you got it straight off the “Do Not Call” list to begin with.

If you can’t tell by now, I think having a sense of humor is very important. If you don’t have one, we can still work together, but it will undoubtedly be a boring transaction.

Anyway, you can find out a little bit about me on the about page.

If you are a business owner, entrepreneur or sales professional, then let’s chat right away because I can undoubtedly help you. Please connect with me on LinkedIn so you can get cool free information that will help you get more clients and beat out your competitors. I probably never intended for you to see this website, and I meant for you to go straight to the Stoddard Agency, but oh well, you caught me red-handed! Yes, I am actually am a real person and not just an opportunistic salesman 😉

If you are one of my friends or fans, and you go exploring the blog, be aware that I write whatever I want here. As it is my website, I call the shots, and I don’t stick to “business as usual” here. I apologize in advance if I offend you… but I secretly hope I do get a rise out of you and challenge your assumptions; only then, will the blog accomplish its mission.

Either way, this website is just a little slice of my life so that you know I am a real person. It is here that I take my mask off, show my true colors, and be more of my true self… Or at least, that is what I am trying to get this #@&%! artificial intelligence robot to automate for me.

Thanks again!

Sincerely,

Jesse Stoddard

Need Help? Have Questions?

Want to book me for your project or collaborate? Get in touch and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.